Epic Verdict: Beta Test Booms, Murloc Merch Blows

Welcome to the Epic Verdict where we report MMO trends fast, straight, and most importantly, with a bias. Here you’ll find snap judgments on game developments in the World of Warcraft, Aion, and dozens more. Sometimes we even pick on a baby murloc or two.

It’s all in good fun, so let’s get started in the land of Eorzea…

Response to FFXIV Beta Test Invite: EPIC

Square Enix sounded off a siren call for beta testers to Final Fantasy XIV, its upcoming MMO game for the PS3 and PC. Seems like the slime-sounding world name didn’t scare off would-be adventurers, as the initial response was so large it halted registration due to traffic congestion mere hours after the announcement.

Just goes to show how this franchise, known for stunning graphics and gripping storylines, has still got the shizz even though some naysayers contend it’s fast becoming a saggy has-been.

One look at the FFXIV main site reveals environs with painstaking detail–a quality not too long ago was confined to RPG cutscenes. The initial screenshots sure look impressive, dream-like even, so we won’t be surprised when beta testers begin flooding the MMO forums with “ZOMG ff14 PWNS WoW!”

Till then, we leave cynics with two words from the resume of Akihiko Yoshida, the SE Art Director helming this FFXI upgrade: Vagrant Story.

Murlocs as Christmas Gifts: EPIC FAIL

While buying some last-minute gifts online, one of the lamest characters to come out of Blizzard literally reared its ugly head.

Murlocs, those stanky creatures from some deep developer bum, are again invading the web with their fugly plushies, action figures, and girlfriend print tees. It’s beyond us who the heck would bother staring at murlocs longer than it takes to kill them, let alone spend WoW gold to protect their species.

There are far more “majestic creatures” (as wack-job org Save the Murlocs Foundation calls the fish-kin) in Azeroth worth saving. And we don’t have to go past the starting zones.

Christmas, with its sugar-sweet trappings, offers redemption to even the vilest of creatures. But alas, even a Santa hat can’t save a murloc from its utter ugliness.


– Aion releases new patch notes Malfunctioning siege weapons, though, remains merely a “known issue.” Wonder how much Aion Kinah this costs affected legions?